It was about time Karrueche Trans's voice was heard! During the sit-down with Fix My Life Iyanla Vanzant, she described how she met Chris, and what made her fall in love, as well as knowing that he was hanging out with Rihanna but being okay with it because she thought it was innocent (at first). She also revealed that the couple talked about having kids but she definitely wasn’t ready for that until marriage, and she had to find out about Chris’ new baby girl on social media.
1. She wanted to do the interview so her voice could be heard
I want my voice to be heard. For a long time, I kept it very mute. Just because that’s the way I preferred it, but I think there are a lot of misconceptions about me-I don’t think, I know there are. And I want to be able to clear it up and a chance to tell my story and tell my side.
Now that I’ve chosen my career, which is
acting and modeling, which is being in the limelight-it’s very important because one time I went to an audition and I stated my name, and they were like, ‘Oh! That name sounds really familiar. Oh! I’ve seen you on TMZ.’ And her first perception of me might be of what she’s heard.
2. She met Chris Brown for the first time on a styling job
Me and Chris first met on a styling job. At the time, about five years ago, I was a personal assistant to a business loaner [in Los Angeles] and I was doing styling on the side.
I didn’t directly give him my number. I gave one of his dancers my phone number and he got my number from him.
[When he first called] honestly, I didn’t view it as, ‘Oh my God! Chris Brown is calling me.’ Of course it was different [and] new, but it wasn’t like, ‘Oh my God, girl!’ I just wasn’t rubbed that way by him.
He said, ‘Hey? What are you doing? Let’s hang out tonight.’ It’s flattering, of course, but again, it wasn’t-I’ve never dated celebrities or been into the whole hoopla of that. So it was just like, ‘Okay, this is fun, it’s interesting and it’s new.’
3. Their first date took place at two in the morning
It was 2:30 in the morning and we went to Norms [Restaurant]. Some people recognized him and probably asked for pictures and autographs. But at the end of the day, he’s just a regular person. That’s the way I see it. I had some friends with me who knew [I was on a date with Chris Brown], but–[I don’t remember calling anybody].
4. Chris Brown was charming in the beginning of their relationship
When I first met him, he was nice and charming and I wanted to love him and to be a friend and to be different than all these other girls who are going to sleep with him in a second, or girls who are going to go crazy, or people who were going to use him. I didn’t want to be that. I wanted to be different, and that’s how it was in the beginning.
I saw a different side of Chris that not everybody sees. Although he’s done whatever he’s done, he’s a good-hearted person. He’s a big kid with a big heart that’s been through some things and that’s been damaged. I know what I saw and I know how I wanted to react and how I wanted to treat the relationship, or treat him. I wanted to love him cause that’s what he needs. After four years, I know what he needs.
5. A part of her is still hopeful things could work out
I still love him. Yeah, because if things could change-I’ve tried to help go to church, pray, yoga, meditate. If he were to change, we’d be in a better place, but that’s the problem. Yes, he’s damaged but I’m damaged, too.
6. Chris Brown told her that he and Rihanna were friends but she had no idea he was going out with Rih behind her back.
(He told her he was going out and she later learned that he was at a basketball game with Rihanna while she stayed at his condo.)
Yeah [he told me he was dealing with Rihanna]. I said ‘okay’ because I was under the impression that it was a friend type of–not a friend, but it wasn’t what it became to be. I knew [but] I didn’t want to believe it because I loved him.
7. Her and Chris talked about having babies
I’ve known for maybe a year [that he wasn’t ready for that]. We’ve talked about having kids and I told him we need to get married first. Not even the fact that I don’t need a ring, I need that commitment. Even till this day, even after everything that I’ve been through, that’s how I want it to be.
I want to find somebody and grow, build a foundation, build trust, get married, have kids, and the white picket fence, and the green grass and the dog. [He didn’t want to] because I think that’s a maturity thing and his lifestyle. I think marriage scares a lot of men. I was hoping for us to grow together and maybe one day we were going to get married and have kids. We talked about starting a family.
Aside from the betrayal and all that, if we were to continue from here–I could wait for him to mature.
*Karrueche cries*
I feel hurt, betrayed. I feel hurt because of what he’s done. I feel hurt because the man I loved hurt me and betrayed me. I also feel like I let myself down. [I disappointed and embarrassed myself].
Find out what she said about making Chris wait to have sex with her, his new baby, and what’s next for her on Page 2!
8. She made Chris wait a few months before they slept together
I don’t think [I slept with him too fast]. I made him wait a few months before. I made him wait a month and a half to two months. Compared to what he’s used to, let’s be honest–it’s not who I am. I can count on my hand how many guys that I’ve slept with in my life. I swear to God! It’s not too, too many fingers on my hand. I don’t just give myself–‘Oh, you’re Chris Brown, I’m going to have sex with you,’ or ‘You’re hot…’ Every guy that I’ve had sex with, I’ve dated or had a connection with. I don’t think I should’ve waited any longer. I don’t think that’s a problem. I made him wait.
He did give me love. Maybe it wasn’t the right love or the same level. [He loved me the way he knew how} and that’s a product of his environment growing up. There’s no doubt in my mind that Chris loves me. I know he does.
9. She found out Chris had a daughter on social media like everyone else
[I found out] through social media. He wanted to talk to me in person. At the moment I found out, he was texting me that, ‘I need to talk to you seriously and in person.’ And then I get online and I see–yeah.
I’m not that girl that’s gonna call [Nia, the baby’s mother] and curse her out. My issue is with myself and with Chris. Not the baby, not the mother, not Rihanna. Nobody. It’s me and him.
[I’ve spoken to him] and he’s said he’s sorry and he’s dropped flowers off and tried to say sorry and be back in my good graces. He’s sorry for everything and what he’s put me through. But it ain’t no making up right now.
I’m trying to be my strongest and I understand what he’s put me through and I’m fed up with it.
Right now, I’m saying no [I don’t think I’ll ever go back to him].
10. She’s discovered there is a huge downside of her newfound fame
It’s not what it perceives to be. All that glitters is not gold. It’s nice times where you work, you make money, you travel, you look nice, but then it’s tough dealing with–every time I walk outside my house, there’s paparazzis snapping and there’s no privacy. And I’m always being judged, whether it’s good or bad, and it’s a tough thing. People will say crazy things. I’ve gotten, ‘I hope you die!’ and–again, there’s positive and there’s negative.
If people were like, ‘Hi, Karrueche!’ and ask to take a picture, I’ll take a picture. And the minute I say, ‘No I don’t want to take a picture, there are like, ‘Oh she’s a b-tch!’
11. She plans to move forward by focusing on her career and herself
Work, career, focusing on myself. Now, it’s me time and focusing on who I am and learning from my previous mistakes to the mistakes I make today. I’m not perfect. I still mess up and I’m a work in progress.
[…]
Dear God, keep me strong and keep my head up and to put my best foot forward and to love regardless of whatever situation I go through. Always love and be kind, stay strong and keep the faith. Lately, I’ve been going to church, and it’s been great. And it’s not because I’m going to church just because I’m going through something.
12. She’s open to dating another famous figure
Maybe. I’m not gonna lie. Maybe. I’m not going to limit myself by status or money. It’s [*points to heart*] and what I can deal with and I will and won’t do.
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